I miss home.

There was a place I could go,
where I could walk out,
and I know
that this was my home.

Where smiles surrounded me like air,
and love flew up from everywhere,
And freely I laughed, as I know
that this was my home. 

But then I went down the road,
and around the bend,
and when I looked back,
I couldn't find home again.

So I kept walking down,
down to the next bend,
where the road turned,
and so I went
till I reached another home.

And I was happy there, and sat for a spell
until the shadows came back and I grew unwell
with the wraiths of a smile, and complicated air,
and with feelings of love, that weren't really there.
And with a start, I realized
This was not my home.

So I tried to run back as fast as I can,
but the shadows followed me close as I ran,
and took me across to another land,
far away from my home.

And so I grew up, under the moon,
with the shadows to guard me there, and soon
like memories of a sunny day,
my memories of home began to fade,
and I forgot my home.

But now and again I shed a tear,
and remember that I am here,
far away from what once was known
far away from my home.

Someday I hope I might return again,
I'll walk around and around the bend
Till I reach my happy home,
Greeted with the smiles I once have known,
and maybe then I'll be content
For I have found my home again.
 

 

Memories

I like to dwell in memories,

Back how I wish it could be,

back to when the frost was green,

and happiness lept around unseen

among the smiling trees.

I like to dwell in memories,

back to how I liked it to be,

with raindrops as smiles, and sunshine and clouds,

when love was alive, and life was loud,

and so it shall still be.

For in my memory, you and I,

we jump on clouds and touch the sky,

and the sun shines down with its warming gaze

and melts all the sadness away,

And all the frost melts off the trees,

and happiness is once again set free,

and the sun comes out and the raindrops smile

and the rainbow decides to stay for awhile.

And then all the earth comes alive,

for in my memory you survive,

and dwell awhile with me,

alas, but only in memory.

I stand alone.
Watching the world spin all around me,
rejoycing in the love of others, yet never experiancing it for myself.
I stand alone.

Yet, I am never alone,
You are here with me always,
I am not alone.

Forgive me when I want something that you have not meant for me to have,
You have ordained each moment of my life,
You have counted each second and You are in control of them.
You have created a good life for me, every moment is for my good.

And yet I sit here, reveling in my own selfishness.
Blind to all that You have ordained.
Blind to what you have planned.
Blind to what is for my own good,
I sit here alone,
But I am never alone.

You call my name, but I don't answer.
You shower your blessings upon me until my cup overflows,
but alone I still sit, thinking about the one thing that You have not given me.

"It is not the time, Bethany."
"Be patient, and trust me."
"Open your eyes and see what I have given you now."
"It is good"

I am so foolish Lord,
My heart is so blind and selfish.
Thank you for opening my eyes,
Open my heart to know that You are all I need.
You are more than enough for me.
Lord, help me to see.