Looking for you.

Looking for you is like looking for one grain of sand,

it is like climbing a mountain that never ends,

looking for you is hopeless.

Its like you are the lighthouse whose light is to dim to follow,

and I'm the boat about to be dashed into the rocks,

if you could just reach out a little farther,

if you could just shine a little bit brighter,

than I could reach you,

but no.

Following you is hopeless.

It's like you are a butterfly flitting right above my reach, 

shadows dancing before me, taunting me.

Showing me what might have been.

What could have been.

Reaching out to you is hopeless.

Hopeless, hopeless, yet my heart is full of hope,

and hope says I will climb the mountain and reach the top,

hope says that you are this way, that I must continue,

hope says that you are within my grasp.

Hope speaks about our lives, and shows us the future,

and in the future there is no hopelessness.

There is only you.

And me.

Hope says that you will be happy to see me,

that you will take my hand and tell me how glad you are that I never gave up.

That I never stopped hoping.

I don't like hanging on by a thread of hope,

but sometimes that thread of hope is connected to something far better than anything we could settle for.

Sometimes its worth it holding on to hope,

even if the chances are slim, more slim than any thread.

I will hang on, and in my heart,

I will hope.

for you.

 

For the moments when I don't belong

I want to go home,
God please take me home.

I've been running in circles, my head now is weary and I feel like there's nowhere to go
Through fire and brimstone, conversing with strangers, the only place left is home.

I want to go home,
God please take me home.

To go to the place where I am accepted,
Where I'm free to live and in no way rejected,
To the place where I'm meant to be,
Home is where I need to be.

I want to go home,
God please take me home.

But there's alot more to run, and a long way to go
To cross distant shores, until my race is done,
I cannot go home, I must continue to run.
Till on the Horizon I and my Maker are one,
and then with a smile He'll tell me,
"Well done."

"You have done well," He'll look at me and say,
"You've completed the race, let us rejoyce today,
For my child has fought and never has stopped,
and with my strong hands I lifted you up,
and carried you here to the place you belong,
And now all of Heaven will join you in song,
for one sinner has finally come home."

Flying. I think every man has experianced this moment. The moment before something happens. When you know that right now something big is occurring; that what you choose at this moment will change the course of your life. A twinge in the pit of your stomach right before takeoff. An Olympian right before the race; a soldier rigt before battle; a girl right before the birth of her first child. Life is full of these crucial moments; and with them the choices we make that make these moments important. Its like standing on the brink of a cliff. You look down below and can't fully see the bottom: it is shrouded in a mist and fog so below all looks like a gray blur. It is hazy and you begin to have doubts about whether or not you should go through with this. Fear creeps up and lightning streaks across the field of your mind illuminating worries that you couldn't see before. What if I don't make it? What if this mountain was too high to begin with? What if there is something bad at the bottom that I don't know about? What would happen if I turned back now? What if I get hurt? You begin to consider.the possibility of turning around. Of making your way back down the mountain back down the road you already know. Your mind wanders to the road that brought you here and for a moment you think you can turn back. But then you remember the things that brought you here. All the pain and trails that have lead you to this place-for what? To turn around would mean for nothing. And then you think... it is for what is awaits, beyond the fog that shrouds the unknown. For the life you have to live beyond where you are right now. For the beautiful beyond that await beyond this bend. You can't go back now. And so you don't. With a victory cry that resounds of the rock you plunge headfirst onto your fears and watch them peel back like rain till there is nothing left but sunshine. As you drift through the clouds and onward you still are unsure that you made the right choice- but this is the life you have chosen to live. A life made to shine and to overcome. And that is the life I choose to live now. But i will jump knowing that You'll catch me. That the gray blur of the future is not unknown to You. And that You are calling me to jump out and shine. And I will do that and more. I will soar.